The signs of growth are easy to spot by others, but not always by ourselves. Here are some things that happen when you start taking my advice in this post about making decisions, and this post about self care, and are inspired by them to live your own life (take it as a friend’s advice though, not absolute truth).
Before we start, I want to tell you that I am not a psychologist /psychiatrist /professional coach, but I have got a lot of life experience in growth and change which I would like to share. By no means am I saying that you should follow my rules or anyone else’s either, you do you!
1) You answer back.
I don’t mean throw your hands up in the air and shout. Nor do I mean you take it all in silence. You know what you want and decided to pursue it, so now you know how to answer back with grace and coherence. You don’t need to shout over other people, your voice gets heard more and more because you have faith in yourself. You know the reasons for your actions and can defend them, without owning anyone an explanation. You stand up for yourself, and ask ” But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” (Jesus in John 18:23)
2) You see opportunities around you.
You’re slowly but surely killing that voice in the back of your mind that’s telling you what to do, so you’re trying new things out. You see new opportunity because there’s no one internally or externally affecting your decisions. You are truly becoming free. You’re making your own mistakes and celebrating your own victories.
3) You don’t show off.
You’ve asked yourself the question “What would I do with my life, if money wasn’t an issues?” and more importantly “What would I do if I didn’t have social media?” You know that it doesn’t matter if anyone’s watching. You live your life for yourself, and let criticism of your lifestyle slide down your shoulders like rain.
4) You don’t envy.
Carrying on from the previous point, you compare yourself only to your past self and not to those around you. You are free of the burden of capitalism and the unhealthy thought patterns presented by Enneagram 4s and 3s. You don’t crave the approval of others, only of yours.
5) You set boundaries.
This is probably the most important one. Not only have you set boundaries, but you also re-enforce them. If your friends don’t accept them, you move on from those people and find better friends.